And Jilly T Tumbles

Half asleep.

• Jon: Do you have something to burn the pantyhose?
• Me: No...
• Jon: I'm sorry the pizza is in a souffle dish.
• Me: It's okay.
• Jon: It's like a giant taco...

To set up the story, Jon had just gone downstairs to grab tamales for himself and a snack for me.

• Me: *catches snack* Thank you, honey. Where are your tamales?
• Jon: In my pockets.
• Me: What?!
• Jon: To warm them up!

Valentine's Day

• Me: *while looking at useless gadgets on vat19* What's an automatic sugar dispenser?
• Jon: It sugars dispensers automatically.

• Me: I think that's Sirius right there.
• Jon: Are you "sirius?"
• Me: I am for real.
• Jon: Fo rizzle, mah bizzle!
• Me: Don't call me a bizzle!
• Jon: I meant it as bear!
• Me: Bizzle doesn't mean bear!
• Jon: Yes it does! Oh shizzle, it's a grizzle bizzle!

All the faces.

• Me: What are you looking at?
• Jon: I'm looking at you. You're very look-at-able.
• Me: You're look-at-able. I love your face. *squishes his face* But I don't love that face.
• Jon: *confused*
• Me: Yes I do. I love that face, too. I love all the faces of your face.

• Me: *Burps* 'Scuse me.
• Jon: You're 'scused.
• Me: YOU'RE 'scused!
• Jon: *Stares*
• Me: Ugh. I caught your sillies.
• Jon: Isn't that a song by Raffi?
• Me: I caught your sillies?
• Jon: I don't know. Something like "Catch The Sillies."

Must have hurt.

• Jon: So as soon as the guy won, they tied his eyes closed... wait. Tied his eyes closed? What is that thing called?
• Me: A blindfold?
• Jon: Oh, yeah. Tied his eyes closed?

Yep.

• Jon: Hey, a watch plays a pretty important role in Full Metal Alchemist, too.
• Me: Oh, really?
• Jon: Yeah, but it's not really a watch... more like one of those... a watch that you put in your pocket.
• Me: ...a pocket watch?

I'm just bitter. (AKA I don't even know.)

• Jon: I wouldn't hit it with Al Cronkite's dick.
• Me: ... what?
• Jon: Walter Cronkite's dick.
• Me: ... what?